Pearl of the Day 
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A Self-Esteem Boost
July 23, 2010
Long-time readers of the Pearl of the Day know today's Pearl to be true, but a little reinforcement is a good thing. If you're new to the Pearl, this is a great time of the year to experience this message. Yesterday I walked into a meeting and one of the participants was about as unfriendly and dour as you will see. She was overweight, had some unfortunate facial pigmentation issues, and her personal presentation was not good. I very quickly attributed her attitude to a weakened self-esteem.
Here is what I did throughout the day to show her that I cared about her as a human being. Remember, the first principle of Outfluence is to focus on the needs of other people with whom you come into contact before focusing on your own needs. It can be as simple as acknowledging them with a few kind words and a nice smile. So the first thing that I did was stand, walk up to her, offer my hand and my smile and I introduced myself.
Throughout the day whenever she spoke or I had interaction with her directly I looked her in the eye, focused only on her and treated her as an equal. I respected her. I did my best to offer humor, most of it self-deprecating. By the end of our time together, I was able to coax a beautiful smile out of her that lit up her eyes. If she learns to lead with her appealing smile and sparkling eyes, her imperfections (which she will notice we all have) will give way to the light of her countenance.
Life signs – look for the opposite silent message in the signs. Where the outward sign says unfriendly, the silent sign may be poor self-esteem. That triggers the need for Outfluence.
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"I don't get it. Why is he acting that way?" Every day, all across the world, in office buildings and workplaces, in shopping centers, on campus, and on the factory floor, people are sending each other confusing messages. Oh, their vocal messages seem clear enough, even written directions set out the task to be done; but it's the actions that follow that cause people to scratch their heads in wonderment. It's those silent messages that confuse us when our co-workers say one thing and then do another. Did they change their mind somewhere between the words and the deeds? If so, why didn't they say so? Beyond workplace communication is the interpersonal communication that occurs in the workplace. Communication that involves one employee putting down another, disputes created by perceived or actual unfairness, conversations with a sexual innuendo, rumor allowed to spread unabated. The unspoken message in workplace communication is what Outfluence addresses. We help you to understand the body language of the 21st Century. It's called Constant Messaging™, and it is present in every one of us. |
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