Excerpts from Books/Speaking

What does it mean to “polish the pearl”? A pearl is an inspired gift of God’s nature, a beautiful work of art. It is the only gem that can emerge from nature perfect and complete. Human beings are gifts from God, too; but our gem is imperfect. From birth and throughout the rest of our lives, we grow toward unattainable perfection. We constantly are polishing our pearl, striving to inspire our God-given potential.

Why a pearl? Because pearls are so unique. In Asia, they symbolize achievement and enlightenment. The best pearls, of course, come from contented oysters. Workers at pearl farms diligently tend the oysters via a continuous process intended to keep the pearls developing smoothly in order to minimize blemishes caused by stress. In other words, pearls require human inspiration to maximize their potential.

In my program, the pearl also represents the human inspiration behind the capturing of a story. It matters not where the story is told... in litigation, in the United States Senate, in a sports venue, in a church, in a classroom, or in a family environment. It may even be a story told by a business introducing a new product. It can be a story told anywhere in the world. The method of capturing the story is relevant only to the circumstance in which the story is being told. What matters is the pearl — the human being, the inspiration brought to the assignment by a dedicated professional like you.

Workplace Silence

Through practicing Outfluence you’ll find that helping someone else without expectation will not only be rewarding to you spiritually, it will also advance your own dreams. Now, how can you develop the most impact, the most power, and achieve the best results?

Let’s prepare to silently wow a prospective client or to wow your current employer. I recommend that you do three things every day:

1. Be prepared for every opportunity by being so good at what you do that you cannot be ignored. Excellence will always be rewarded.

2. Inspire every moment from greeting to conclusion by delivering just a bit more emotion, by adding just a bit more effort, by offering just a bit more sacrifice, and by placing your focus on the needs of others. Give more than you ask for.

3. Use your greeting, courtesy, writing ability, listening skills, words and other of the 20 Silent Communication Fundamentals listed on pages 49-50 in this book to silently form a quiet storm of Outfluence. In this way you quietly, but powerfully, present your quality. Build some preparation time into your schedule the day before your event or meeting. Go over your notes, and assemble the information or resources you’ll need. Make sure you give yourself time to present an unhurried, organized demeanor. It will reduce your stress and make a better impression. On the day of an important business function, I recommend that you reinforce five specific Outfluence behaviors:

• Smile
• Make your greeting memorable
• Listen
• Think of others before thinking of yourself
• Inspire your performance

To assist you in remembering these behaviors, I’ve imprinted them on an Outfluence Opportunity Card, or “O Card,” for easy reference. Take two minutes before you enter a room to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and trust your training. Refresh your memory with the card, then put it away and be yourself – relying upon the quiet storm you carry within. With practice, all your preparation will be so integrated into your daily activity that it will become second nature.

Impact on Teens

Children are smart. They understand that they have freedom of speech in America; however, they may not appreciate that responsibility comes with that freedom of speech.

One of the special privileges we are granted as adults is to teach our children what responsibility means to our quality of life. Children will be grateful for their entire lives when we teach them that if they use obscenities, they are disrespecting themselves. If they use obscenities, they are disrespecting their peers.

In addition, they risk closing doors of opportunity by the silent messages they send when they use inappropriate language. They are also negatively affecting their self-esteem and programming themselves for failure.

Kids look to us as adults to set standards. They take their lead from our behavior. Outfluence is about sending silent messages in a sincere effort to make you attractive to other people with whom you want to establish a relationship. But, be aware that silent messages are also embedded within the words you speak.

Communication has both oral and aural aspects. In other words, you speak and others hear. Your words enter the ears and minds of others who make judgments about the words you use. Your most important audience is your children. When parents ask me how they can introduce Outfluence to their children, my first recommendation is that the parents live by Outfluence principles and behaviors. Adults must walk the walk before the children will follow the talk.