Pearl of the Day 
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A Self-Esteem Boost
July 23, 2010
Long-time readers of the Pearl of the Day know today's Pearl to be true, but a little reinforcement is a good thing. If you're new to the Pearl, this is a great time of the year to experience this message. Yesterday I walked into a meeting and one of the participants was about as unfriendly and dour as you will see. She was overweight, had some unfortunate facial pigmentation issues, and her personal presentation was not good. I very quickly attributed her attitude to a weakened self-esteem.
Here is what I did throughout the day to show her that I cared about her as a human being. Remember, the first principle of Outfluence is to focus on the needs of other people with whom you come into contact before focusing on your own needs. It can be as simple as acknowledging them with a few kind words and a nice smile. So the first thing that I did was stand, walk up to her, offer my hand and my smile and I introduced myself.
Throughout the day whenever she spoke or I had interaction with her directly I looked her in the eye, focused only on her and treated her as an equal. I respected her. I did my best to offer humor, most of it self-deprecating. By the end of our time together, I was able to coax a beautiful smile out of her that lit up her eyes. If she learns to lead with her appealing smile and sparkling eyes, her imperfections (which she will notice we all have) will give way to the light of her countenance.
Life signs – look for the opposite silent message in the signs. Where the outward sign says unfriendly, the silent sign may be poor self-esteem. That triggers the need for Outfluence.
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Follow the Storm |
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"Run, Forest, Run! Run, Forest!" Remember that scene in the movie Forest Gump? Poor Forest started running, and I don't think he stopped until he had crossed the entire country! I have this image in my head of what happens when someone who is trained in Constant Messaging™ experiences the constant silent messages of a negative person. In his head, the CM-trained person is saying "Man, I need to run as fast as I can away from this person. He's bad for me." It would be rude to immediately run away from a negative person, of course, but it is important to leave his or her presence as soon as possible. In a long life I have learned that it is not healthy to stay in personal or business relationships that you know are not compatible with your values. Pearl #43 teaches us to allow relationship-building to proceed slowly, to let it percolate. When you meet a person who you believe is worthy of your friendship, we encourage you to conduct yourself with a quiet storm of Outfluence while the budding relationship percolates. Sometimes the relationship percolates to the boiling point, at which time you have made a new friend. And sometimes during the percolation process and the development of the quiet storm you find that a relationship is not appropriate. Sometimes you will run toward the relationship, and sometimes you will run away from the relationship. However it turns out, Outfluence training will help you to accomplish relationship-building in a thoughtful, purposeful, and sincere manner. (Today's Pearl was written by Al Betz.) Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites        |
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