Pearl of the Day

A Self-Esteem Boost July 23, 2010

Long-time readers of the Pearl of the Day know today's Pearl to be true, but a little reinforcement is a good thing. If you're new to the Pearl, this is a great time of the year to experience this message. Yesterday I walked into a meeting and one of the participants was about as unfriendly and dour as you will see. She was overweight, had some unfortunate facial pigmentation issues, and her personal presentation was not good. I very quickly attributed her attitude to a weakened self-esteem.

Here is what I did throughout the day to show her that I cared about her as a human being. Remember, the first principle of Outfluence is to focus on the needs of other people with whom you come into contact before focusing on your own needs. It can be as simple as acknowledging them with a few kind words and a nice smile. So the first thing that I did was stand, walk up to her, offer my hand and my smile and I introduced myself.

Throughout the day whenever she spoke or I had interaction with her directly I looked her in the eye, focused only on her and treated her as an equal. I respected her. I did my best to offer humor, most of it self-deprecating. By the end of our time together, I was able to coax a beautiful smile out of her that lit up her eyes. If she learns to lead with her appealing smile and sparkling eyes, her imperfections (which she will notice we all have) will give way to the light of her countenance.

Life signs – look for the opposite silent message in the signs. Where the outward sign says unfriendly, the silent sign may be poor self-esteem. That triggers the need for Outfluence.

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Outfluence in Action

Zig Ziglar reads Outfluence.

The Bonded Family Ministry Podcast
"Silent Communication via OUTFLUENCE"

Al and Kay on The Bonded Family national radio program.

Kay in-studio guest on the Web Talk With Bob national radio show.

Betzes and Snell family pose after The Bonded Family radio program.

Dylene Cymraes, Director of Training, leads Job Edge seminar

Al teaching in Philadelphia.

Rick Eberts and Trial Technologies.

Kay Betz and Michael Reagan.

K-8th Grade

Teen Outfluence

Outfluence for Teens

O – OPEN your mind to a new way of thinking about making friends
U – UNDERSTAND how simple actions make a big difference to others
T – TEACH the benefits of the Outfluence lifestyle by your respectful behavior
F – FOCUS on making others feel good about themselves, and see what happens to you
L – LEARN how to relate to everyone you encounter in a positive way
U – UTILIZE Outfluence communication to silently benefit your school and your family
E – EVERYONE around you benefits when your Constant Messaging™ is uplifting
N – NAVIGATE smoothly through school by making friends, not enemies
C - COMPETE honestly and fairly by inspiring your actions
E - ENCOURAGE your friends and classmates to help others.

Would you like to know more about the 10 components of Outfluence for Teens? Call us at 888-881-1660. We can schedule a presentation at your school, or at your home for you and your best friends. Ask mom or dad to call today!

History is Made by Sandler

It was a history-making event! Dave Sandler presented Outfluence to a group of middle school students attending an enrichment program in Ellicott City, Maryland in July of 2008. This was the first ever presentation of its kind. Click here and select "Middle School Presentation" to see a brief introduction by our President, Kay Betz, and 5 minutes of various segments from Dave's fun presentation. Then call us at 888-881-1660 to find out how you can get Outfluence to come to your school! Don't forget to read the wonderful testimonial written by Paula Wolkowitz of Howard Community College who describes the Outfluence presentation as a "positive experience," "stimulating and insightful," and the students' reaction as "amazing."

iPods and Sneakers

Is that really what most kids are interested in these days? iPods and Sneakers? That’s what I heard on a news segment today. If so, I think it has more to do with what the parents are doing than what the kids really want. We all recognize that parents have to set an example for their kids to follow. Parents have to demonstrate that they care for their children. Parents have to provide learning opportunities for their children. If the parents are unable to partially or totally meet their responsibilities to their children, then someone else must step in. Very few of us are leaders. Most of us are followers. So it is with our children.

Consequences

My high school PE teacher was also the baseball coach. In his day he was quite a multi-sport athlete, to the point that the school’s new stadium was named after him. When he taught my class, however, he was nearing retirement and his health was diminished. The problem most noticed by the students was his poor hearing. Kids being kids, we took advantage of the situation. Unfortunately, the teacher/coach was no longer up to the task of managing his students and often he was left to look foolish by the behavior of the students.

Curse at your Peril

A local radio talk show host asked this question of his audience: “Do you think that we have become an R Rated society?” He was referring to the widespread use of profanity. A listener happened to be stopped waiting for a school bus full of kids to disembark when he heard a group of boys talking and using profanity. He called the show and eventually invited one of the children to get on the phone with the host of the radio show. An 8-year-old boy said to the host, “America said curse words were okay. If they don’t want us to use them, they should pass a law.” A 15-year-old girl called the show with her father. She used the “F” word and thought nothing of it. Her father didn’t particularly like it that his daughter used that word, but his reaction was one of resignation.